It’s 11.00am on a rainy Sunday morning. I have the word processor open. I have Streaming Soundtracks playing in the background (currently playing a track from Ghost in the Shell which is Most Splendid). I have a good idea about where Chapter 3 needs to go. I want to reach a certain overall wordcount by the end of the day. I have written some of those words, in fact. (500 of them so far. Pathetic). It is raining outside. Small Son is at his dad’s and Dearly Beloved is at work. I have the house to myself. Bar needing to do some washing up, I have the entire day to myself. I should have written more than this so far.
So why haven’t I?
Procrastination, that’s why.
I just can’t knuckle down and get on with it. I’m having a Tough Time with some real life stuff at the moment and that’s stealing rather a lot of my focus. I hate my head, I really do. It works in bloody weird ways. It just went down this track:
Venting on the blog… will that help? I don’t know, I’ll go and try it. But then that means talking about Real Life and let’s be brutally honest, nobody gives a rat’s arse about Real Life. Alright, well, let’s do a post about procrasination and how easy it is to get distracted when you should be writ… oh look! Facebook is telling me that four of my friends have birthdays today and I haven’t said ‘happy birthday’ to them yet… oooh, a Tweet from Jon Green, must reply. Where was I? Oh yes. Writing about procrastination.
You see how it is?
Oooh, Theme from Miami Vice playing on Streaming Soundtracks. Love that.
For the love of… even whilst writing my blog post I’m being distracted by what’s playing on iTunes. Where the hell is my focus today? Perhaps I should run a lost ad:
Lost: One focus. Answers to the name of Sarah. Last seen enthusing about Project: Podshot. GSOH, likes walks on the beach, trips to the cinema…
Yeah. Actually, I wonder what my concentration would look like if it were a person. It’d be sort of… me, but with my tongue stuck out the corner of my mouth. That’s what I do when I’m concentrating really hard. Yes, even at my advanced age, I still act like a toddler. Probably part of the reason why I’m so easily distracted.
What was the point of this blog post again?
Woooy! Theme from Lost in Space (the original TV series, not the godawful film that I had to keep watching because I couldn’t believe how truly awful it was).
In a minute, I will finish this blog post and I will turn off Firefox. I will turn off Twitter. I will go and do the washing up. I will make a cup of tea, I will breathe deeply and I will get back to Project: Podshot. I will finish Chapter Three by the time Dearly Beloved comes home from work this afternoon. I will not cave into pressure and put the internet or Twitter back on again.
But it’s… you could just check your email for the zillionth time…
WHAT AM I EVEN WAITING FOR BY EMAIL? NOTHING! NOTHING EXCEPT ADVERTS PROMISING ME A LARGER PENIS!
OK. It was just a thought.
Dear gods above. Now I’ve been distracted by someone Tweeting a picture of David Beckham with his new baby daughter. Much as I can’t bear the Beckhams, that’s really rather cute.
STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S GOOD AND HOLY, STOP CLICKING THINGS! IT’S SOME SORT OF DISEASE YOU HAVE!
All of the above was reported live as it happened. An effort to demonstrate the spread of that terrible illness that is Procrastinitis.
Now I’m going to Get a Grip[tm], go do the washing up, make a cuppa and reach the 1,000 word mark. Then – and only then – will I allow myself to play on the interwebs again.*
* Parts of this sentence may be blatant lies on my part. I’m just not sure which bits.