Reasons Why I’m Not Missing LRP – #1

In response to a question someone put to me the other day, I present a week of discussions relating to reasons why I am not missing LRP. For an assortment of reasons, I have chosen to take a year out of this hobby and it’s continually proving to be a good thing. ‘I don’t believe you really miss anything’, this someone said to me. ‘What is there to miss? It’s GREAT!’

Yes, yes it is. It’s great fun and for the most part, the people are awesome. There are massive exceptions to this rule and most of them know exactly who they are and why they fall into that category. (If you think I’m talking about you, you’re either correct, or you have a guilty conscience). I’ve been faithfully attending events four times a year for ten years, so a year out is being rather an eye-opener.

(Note to those who haven’t got a clue what I’m talking about: LRP (sometimes referred to as LARP) is Live Action Roleplay. One of those things that you can barely describe to other people without them sort of glazing over and blinking remarkably slowly. Dearly Beloved has written an excellent LRP primer in his blog, here.

So.

Reasons Why I’m Not Missing LRP – #1… CAMPING

I can’t even pad this one out. I bloody hate camping. There’s elements of it that I find faintly acceptable (usually centred around getting the damn tent back into its tiny bag that somehow defies the law of physics), but for the most part, I struggle to find anything remotely pleasant about sleeping in a tent. OK, it’s quite nice when it’s raining outside, but only until you remember that at some point you are going to have to get up and wade through a series of puddles to get the toilet block. When it’s windy you lay there with visions of your tent taking off for pastures new whilst you lie there shivering in your sleeping bag. When it’s hot, you lie there being uncomfortable. When it’s icy you just freeze your arse off.

Tents + outdoors + weather conditions of the UK = Misery.

Then there’s camping beds. Which are outrageously uncomfortable. I’ve never yet gone to an event where I’ve been properly comfy. Either the bed starts deflating in the middle of the night and you end up sleeping on rocks, or my personal favourite: the inevitable roll-together of two adults on an inflatable object and the fact that it becomes impossible to turn over. I’m quite a restless sleeper and turn over a lot. But when I have to contend with DB on the other side of the camping bed, it’s a sort of…

Heave.
HEAVE.
HEEEEEEEEEEEAVE…

…state of affairs. And then my feeble efforts to rise from the sinking pit disturb DB in his sleep, he rolls over and due to inertia and gravity and any other number of physical laws, I go pinging off the edge of the bed into the side of the tent. Like a piece of fish bait being fired out of a catapult. (Not the greatest example, I know, but it popped into my head there).

There was an element of relief for a while towards the end of my LRP career when I got to sleep indoors in a bunk. It was painfully uncomfortable for the most part: slightly dubious mattresses that had been used by countless scouts (and I hate to think exactly what sort of bodily fluids passed into them over the years), but at least it was within slightly more solid walls.

I don’t miss camping in a field with a couple of hundred other people, many of whom seem to think that 4am is a perfectly acceptable time to have loud arguments/discussions/sex (sometimes all three at once).

So there you have it. The first reason why I’m not missing LRP.

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One thought on “Reasons Why I’m Not Missing LRP – #1

  1. Sarah Young says:

    Loving it though you missed the symphony of drunken snoring and the occasional curse as some other drunken person breaks bones tripping over guy ropes at ungodly o’clock…

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