Reasons Why I’m Not Missing LRP – #2… Toilet Blocks
Oh, dear God.
This one is almost as bad as the camping in its complete horror. There are many, many reasons why the toilet blocks are a majorly offputting factor at LRP and here, presented in convenient bullet point format are the worst of them. This is not a complete nor comprehensive list because there are many, many other reasons toilet blocks are cringe-inducing.
- The showers are utterly, utterly crap. Some people go for a weekend’s LRP and don’t bother showering at all. A packet of baby wipes and vomit-inducing quantities of deodorant are good enough for them. (Note: for the most part, these people are usually known as ‘men’). But I LIKE to have a shower when I’ve been running around in the grime and muck all day. There’s nothing nicer than washing away the grit of a day under warm flowing water. Well, LRP showers are nothing like that. This is almost an inevitable truth. They’re either so old that they clatter and clunk when they’re working, they don’t work at all, they dribble on you, they’re lukewarm, they’re cold, they’re filthy (see further down)… Just… yuck. There have been one or two events when the shower has been fantastically perfect (and hey – I miss the showers at Phasel’s Wood). And… Oh. My. God. It was like manna from heaven.
- The sinks are… disgusting. Some people who go to LRP like to wear face make up. Hell, I wore face make up for six years with one character. However, I always removed most of it with baby wipes before washing the rest off. What it frequently looks like other people do is face plant in the sink and just rub their face up and down on the ceramic. And then, even better… they lose the ability to clean it off before they walk away. I mean Jesus FUCK people! Would you live like that in your own environment? Don’t be so lazy. Clean up behind you. Also see earlier point about lack of hot water.
- The toilets… are usually passable. There’s not much you can say about toilets because, and let’s be brutal here, people need to use them. But there have been occasions when you’ve entered a cubicle and wondered whether the person(s) before you actually realise they should see a proctologist. And also, randomly throwing toilet paper around the stall does not make you cool, it makes you a cock.
At the end of an event (be that a faction event or a main event), the game team have to bust a gut to clean up after several hundred lazy people. They’re so outstandingly selfish! Guys – it would not take much of an effort to wipe the sink around when you’re done with it. Oooh, it annoys me.
So there’s Reason # 2.
I am now grumpy at the thought of it all.